Pat, Thank you for reminding me. I default to the view that everyone is like me. And it’s not true. I think we respect people when we are curious about them and really listen to who they are, rather than who we imagine them to be.  

Another view I’ve found to be useful is that people treat others as they have been treated. The person who treats others like they count, received love and respect at some time, and those who abuse others have almost always been abused. John Bradshaw uses the analogy of shame or feeling bad about oneself as being like ‘a hot potatoe’ — there is a dynamic where people pass it around to try to be free of it. And then someone comes into your life and says, Hey, that’s hot, why don’t you put that down, instead of holding it and handing it to the people you love.  

So appreciate your authenticity about your own learning. I find that to be like fresh air. I have done the over working thing, and found that exhausting. I have found that ”just being” requires trust in myself, and in the world. Your being in the world is one of things that gives me confidence that the universe is ultimately a beautiful and good place.

Love, Lisa

patmonahan:

Years ago I had a great therapist. Her name is Judi. She is a really special person and she was the start of a large transformation for me. I am forever indebted to her. I should call her more often to thank her and give her my love. Anyway, I mention her because I’ve been wondering why people…